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DECEMBER 2009 WEBLETTER

BY ADAM SKY, EXPERT AUTHOR

Unhappiness is a natural and normal phenomena.

It's been said that we only use 10% of our brains potential. I suppose to come to that conclusion you would need to measure it against someones 100% usage. But, there isn't such, aside from electronic activity monitoring.

Just as the physical body can be exercised into incredible “condition” so can the mind. That is why there is so much potential in unused gray matter. If the mind were operating at 100% what chance could there be for improvement or additional learning. Like any computer, which is modeled after our brain we need to maintain a goodly amount of free gigabytes.

We are born, basically unhappy. As one poet (?) stated, ripped from the womb. Immediately unhappy, and yet, on top of that, to be slapped into awareness. Ow!

What the hell was that!

Now out of the womb, we have to express our needs and wants, whereas they were before quite automatically taken care of. This is accomplished by crying. As a side note Freud related that if you really want to see an an unhappy child, give it the bottle when it doesn't want it.

So immediately, or very soon after birth we learn to express our needs and wants by crying, which is automatically interpreted as needy and unhappy. Not to overlook tears of joy, in a state of overwhelming happiness or relief.

This unhappy behavior response, which immediately finds results, becomes our modus operandi. Just listen to any child, even up to teenagers, in a supermarket or mall store wailing to get something. Or not.

But my point here is that unhappiness forces us to find relief. And in that, there is growth, because we learn how to avoid or remedy similar future situations. The exploration of, and/or the scientific study of any phenomena are borne as the result of unfulfilled desires and or inquisitive unanswered questions; what lies behind or beyond.

Put another way, happiness is the death of desire as success is the death of ambition. Not entirely though. But to a point where we settle in comfortably. And this is what separates the ambitious achiever from the easily satisfied. Whatever makes you happy! Fortunately we have the ability to change. Usually from dissatisfaction, which is the point I'm making. And in many situations, inspired by exposure to significant phenomena that captures our imagination.

I'm not propounding dissatisfaction as an impetus to a higher self, but rather to see the mechanics that provoke us to change and emulate that innate genius as a path to self improvement.

This does not excuse, nor will it inspire, the chronic, ever dissatisfied, never happy individual.

Now I'm not making or taking any sides. I'm just investigating. And this immediately brings to mind Napoleon Hill's seminal masterpiece, “Think and Grow Rich.” Wherein he spent 25 years meeting with and analyzing the most successful people in America and their commonalities of success. Actually a blueprint for success. Incredibly I noticed it, updated, on Ebay for less than $5.00. But it's free in any library.. actually on I T too.

There is no technique or information, save modern advancements, that outperforms the techniques he researched and shared some 80 years ago. It is still one of the most read works on the planet. It should be on your list to read, if nothing else. Except this, of course.

I'm happy I was smart enough to read it and then later get it on audio cassette (updated) when I was still young enough to be inspired, to follow his revelations and “secrets” in a most engaging writing style.

The purpose of all this introspection is to see how the mind works, behind the tips, techniques and secrets, because in that view, we are free of the limitations and/or boundaries nature has imposed upon us. And these perhaps “infantile” solutions, at the least, only maintain our status, instead of considering them as an opportunity to enhance our responses.

And in that observing we can master to a better resolution. As mentioned above, an enhancement for greater satisfaction and a point from which we can move ever higher.

December 2009 Webletter

BONUS ARTICLE- THOUGHTS ON SUCCESS

Perspectives on success.

How do you define success-

What exactly is success? For a better understanding, success is a noun and succeed is a verb. Success is generally attributed to an accomplishment. Most people define and measure success in terms of tangibles and money. Others define success in personal relationships. And for some it's how many of them. For any type of competition, from sports to spelling bees, winning the competition is the ultimate “picture” of success. Alternately, if success is neither a place, a trophy, a house, a car nor other tangibles; neither a 'good' relationship with spouse nor family, or friends; neither a scoreboard nor a good job, what then is success?

Success is a state of mind, an emotion, and can result from any or all of the above.

Success is how you feel about what you own and the pleasure you sense from your relationships.

Success is great satisfaction, derived from achieving your deepest desires...

... doing that which is most mentally rewarding

If success presents so many opportunities to succeed, what makes it so special?

The world loves a winner. We all crave admiration and strive to obtain it.

That is why some people are never satisfied. They continuously seek success and validation from external sources. Acceptance and acquisition are their Gods of success. There are those who are happy most all the time. Does that make them more or less successful than the wealthy, or competition winner.

Since success is an emotional high, internally manifested, external approval may not be important.

One may further ask if success, as a state of mind, which can be manifested from within one's own sphere of confidence, and not necessarily as an accomplishment, why aren't more people happy? People who present success without credentials are likely to be targets of snide or sarcastic remarks, such as , “A legend in his own mind”.

But which is more repugnant? The self proclaimed success, or the arrogant accomplished success? Alexander Chase said “ A successful adult was usually a successful child”. This is interesting because successful children aren't out to be successful. They are contented, happy, confident and self assured; success come from within. It is when a child is introduced to accomplishment via a competitive path that success is shifted externally. There is a certain thrill to winning and it is addictive.

When we subscribe to others standards we validate what other's consider success to be

I once read a book on success and competition and the author's take was quite enlightening for me. His bent was why should we allow someone else to create the mark or standard for us to compete against. Perhaps that standard is way below what we would be, or are capable of, were we more interested in optimum self actualization. His message was to compete with yourself. When I was a child I remember how frustrating and impossible it was to tie my shoelaces, until one day, voila, I did it! Success on my own. What a thrill. The same with long division. I still remember where it was and I revel in those successes. I think for most kids it's riding a bike alone, for the first time.

Notwithstanding childhood, success is measured, if not outright dictated, by the publics' eye. My father said, “Success speaks for itself”. Perhaps. I prefer to allow myself to make that determination. The eagle soars alone!

We don't equate or measure success with love; we just surrender to the thrill of it.

Remember the words to nature boy?

The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is to be loved and loved in return.

Bring clean water to a suffering dismal village and you will see happy!

What value do you place on yourself.

It seems as though it's easier to be unhappy than happy. People spend a great deal of their time complaining. Is this inherent human nature, or learned behavior, or both? If pessimism is inherent, it's purpose, as with any evolutionary enhancement, may serve to motivate, through mental activity (Imagination), a better, ergo, happier, optimistic existence. If learned, which is an extremely and highly visible consequence and combination of poor parenting, disaster, living conditions, area, religion, culture and all the rest; the weight of all these factors is carried through life and indeed quite likely to be passed on.

If both inherent and experienced, the compounded effect is a world full of malcontents, striving for a way out. Whether either or both, if a person cannot imagine and adapt a good, healthy, happy attitude they will turn to alternatives. These can become addictions. Sex, liquor, drugs, money and so on. If those are unreachable or unsatisfactory one might choose revenge on society in the form of all sorts of antisocial criminal behavior.

There is the distinct probability that we never fully mature mentally. As a baby we cry not only to exhibit our discomfort, pain, hunger and other instinctive needs, but also to command attention. Displaying unhappy behavior is immediately learned to bring comfort. There can be no doubt that this instinctive behavior, the display of displeasure, which brings satisfying resolution, will carry on through life.

Happiness and satisfaction are the death of ambition. Unless one understands the dynamics;

the balance between living happily, whilst continuously moving forward to greater self-actualization.

The great majority of the world seeks a level of existence of satisfaction, equated with success, within the boundaries of their geographic location. We do not teach individual self actualization, so much as we teach social interaction. Success under these conditions is a sense of commonality. It's a difficult choice of sacrificing individuality for the good of the community. But it is through adversity that we learn our strengths and through our individual imagination and daring that we reach our achievements.

Because success, as a goal, is such a powerful emotional reward, we tend to overshadow our shortcomings by aggrandizing our accomplishments. But success in one arena doesn't define our true character, any more than no success. The first and last in any race define but a scant picture of each person's personality, or abilitiy for a very limited parameter.

Business competition, personal achievement, sports competitions, all curry the same quality, or one word description- success. And from this we modify by huge, great, modest, even somewhat. All indefinite, all left to each of us to imagine in our own terms. That is why success can be so elusive. Success and achievement, while on the surface may be considered one and the same are really quite apart. In fact one can achieve success as a thing, a place, a trophy, or status, rather than a state of mind. In the final analysis success is what we individually and internally define it to be, for us and for others.

If you could buy a bouquet of beautiful flowers (not silk) that never died, how much would you pay.

If you could buy one great meal and never hunger to eat again, how much would you pay.

There are just a few ways to learn. To experience. To be taught, To self teach.

Secrets

Some things can't be taught. Explain the taste of water or burning your hand on a hot surface. If you could buy life enhancing 'secret' information, for business and/or personal prosperity, good for as long as you lived, how much would you pay. How much are wisdom and health worth to you? And how important? If but a single phrase or word of advice enhanced your life and those all around you, to be passed onto your family and friends, forever, how much would you pay.

The price of lunch! A movie ticket? A slice of pizza? A pack of cigarettes?

If so, you're putting the price of a few hours entertainment above a lifelong enhancing idea or technique. You're saying to yourself, I'm not worth investing in myself, for the long term. I want immediate transient gratification.

A fix if you will.

Insurance salespeople sell by asking; Can you afford Not to have it

Have you ever thought why some people pay thousands of dollars for seminars and such. Perhaps you think they can afford it, a tax write-off. I believe they think they can't afford not to have that information. But the real issue is they feel they are worth it. Does it make them more successful. No, not immediately. Will it? Probably. It's an investment in themselves to acquire additional knowledge to use for greater growth and success. Participating is alone a turn-on, just as staying in the penthouse of a five diamond hotel. Plus all the side benefits of networking, etc.

Kids get a great feeling of success accomplishing a task, completing a puzzle, learning to ride a bike, and such.

All too soon their accomplishments are expressed through obtaining, rather than doing. Displaying expensive tangibles, each a sign of success for all to see. Success becomes a second hand sensation. Everyone likes my new house, car, etc. Success, the result of internal satisfaction from doing and achieving, - is transformed into success by feeding off the oohs and ahs of other's admiration of our possessions .False pride, one of the seven deadly sins.

What is my point?

Success like failure, jubilation or depression is a state of mind!

If you saw Federer's win over Roddick (2009) you witnessed, at the same instant, the emotions of

jubilation of a singular ultimate success and the abject depth of dismay and disappointment.

We can't define success without discussing money.

Because so much about success is money.

Money being the tangible evidence of success.

Wayne Dwyer said to take the last 5 minutes of the day, before you fall asleep and think of positive, good things .. why not make every five minutes of your day, your last five?

There are only three uses for money.

1-Used to make more money

1- Probably most people will think that using money to accrue more is less than noble. But think of making money as in establishing or running a business that if successful continually requires additional people to run and more expenditures to expand. Making money therefore is the key to the success of the American way of life, free enterprise. The ramifications of growing a business is far reaching beyond the immediate business goal of profits. Employees, suppliers, equipment, advertising, shipping and all required interim business and services benefit. And each needs to perform the same formulas and emulate the same cycle.

2- Use for enjoyment and/or raising your standard of living.

2- The main personal object for making more money is to enjoy what it can buy. A night at the club, a great dinner, a vacation. A plethora of luxury items. There are so many tangible items in this world that no matter how much wealth you create there is always something more to have. For those who are satisfied with minimal or less than spectacular upgrades, ask yourself for whom are they made? Why not you. Some time ago I read the question asking how many 100 foot yachts are there in the world. The number wasn't important, but the fact that each owner wanted one was. No one owns one that didn't first want one.

3- Donate to the less fortunate. The needy. Or a cause you believe in.

3- The most noble of uses for money is sharing. Nothing is asked for or expected in return. The mental charge of knowing you've helped someone is sufficient return. Donating borders on the edge of pure love. And it does not have to be money! Time and unwanted possessions rank high too.

If money is the root of all evil, then money is also the pipeline of all success.

Theoretically every time money for a service or product changes hands it is increased by the sellers profit, and a tax is imposed on the sellers profits. All of money's uses create a waterfall effect. Money put into play flows in a never ending cycle. Taxes which are exacted over and over on each exchange of income are an important recycling phenomena. For every dollar expended by one, there is income and tax to another. To imagine the modern world without taxes is impossible.

Greed is good!

Without greed there would be an end to our aspirations. In this respect greed is a good motivator. The problem with greed is when it gives way to immoral or unjust behavior. In fact these immoral and unjust actions are what gives the immorally greedy an edge over their fair minded competition. The fair minded are not operating with one eye looking over their shoulder to spot nefarious competitors. This leaves them open targets, for those who seek only to take advantage.

Not a single day passes without something new to remember, on purpose or otherwise, but mostly unrealized. Almost effortlessly. But what's hardest to to do is to try and forget. Isn't that strange? We are natural born learners and very much is on a subconscious level. The mind hangs onto emotional wounds. In fact the inability to forget is what trauma is. Understanding that the mind is a learning device, a recorder if you will, and an accomplished manipulator of its recorded information, suggests that we select and record information of the highest impact to our visualized greatest desire.

Remember the indigent and starving.

WISHING YOU THE BEST NEW YEAR EVER.